We had a good night last night, although I had no expectations of it. Hurray for a good night! He slept quietly so I slept quietly.
I don’t know why it was quieter, maybe a quieter day, at least for him. Maybe because we didn’t take him outside (though the wind’s been from the east sending the Red Tide toxins away from us). Who knows? I can’t figure out the bad days and I can’t figure out the good days. But we’ll take them!
I read about an old Zen saying “fishing with a straight hook,” in the book “Being with Dying, Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death,” by Joan Halifax, that I referred to in yesterday’s post. That expression just struck me, though I am no fisherman. But it is such a clear visual analogy for no expectations.
If I have no expectations, I can accept whatever comes. Good or bad. I can be present for whatever happens. I can sit by the side of the stream, watching the water flow by, with my fishing pole and my straight hook.
That’s my goal for today. That and accepting with grace all the help that is being offered us from our amazing family, friends, and neighbors.
Maybe it’s the same thing. If I have no expectations of myself or others, I can accept all they are doing that I can’t do. My visiting family are all doing chores – fixing, cleaning, repairing. My neighbors have created a Care Calendar to take turns bringing food to us. I am so grateful, albeit slightly uncomfortable. Though I have a straight hook, the fish keep jumping into my lap.
Expecting nothing is different than having no expectations, isn’t it? Expecting nothing, I feel surprised and uncomfortable about receiving something. Having no expectations, I can appreciate and enjoy whatever comes.