Exhaustion

Some days I have nothing left.  They sneak up, seemingly without reason.

The several days previously I’d been fine for most of the day.  Five PM is when I always run out of steam these days, but until then I was good.

But yesterday I woke up with no energy.  I felt like a stuffed animal with the stuffing kicked out of it.  I sat around wondering what to do with myself.  I wasn’t sleepy – didn’t want to nap.  Didn’t want to read or watch TV.  Couldn’t face doing chores.  Didn’t feel particularly depressed, just exhausted.

There was no reason.  I slept okay.  I hadn’t any alcohol or sleeping pills the night before to slow me down.  I hadn’t overdone the day before.  There hadn’t been any catastrophes to deal with, no falls, no choking.

I was just completely washed out, my body just drooped.  I helped Larry the best I could.  I tried to nap but couldn’t.  I left all the chores for another day.

Someone who had been a caregiver to her husband with Parkinson’s Disease said to me “you won’t realize how tired you are now until this is over.”